While walking his beat, a policeman is bemused to find a Santa Singh, clearly drunk, staggering about with a key in his hand.
'They've stolen my car,' the drunk shouts. 'It was right here earlier on the end of this key.'
'More importantly, sir,' says the policeman. 'Do you know your penis is hanging out?'
'Oh my God,' wails the drunk Santa. 'They've got my girlfriend as well!'


A teacher asks her class if anyone could use the word 'indefinitely' in a sentence. Well, Little Puttu Swami has his hand raised in the back of the class. But the teacher knows he's a trouble maker and that he doesn't know the answer, so she calls on Ramesh.
Ramesh replies, 'Due to the weather, school was canceled indefinitely.'
'Good' the teacher replies.
'What about you Suresh ?'
Suresh says, 'Since the bus broke down, transportation was stopped indefinitely.'
The teacher then says that the sentence was too much like the other one, and she asks if anyone can use it in a different way. So there's Little Puttu Swamy waving his hand. And the teacher thinks ... (Maybe he really does know the answer), so she calls on him. Puttu Swamy stands up and says:
'As I felt my balls slap off her ass, I knew that I was in definitely!'


One day when the teacher walked to the blackboard, she noticed someone had written the word 'PENIS' in tiny letters. She turned around and scanned the class looking for a guily face. Finding none, she quickly erased it and began class.
The next day, she went into the room, she noticed in large letters the word 'PENIS' again; this time written about halfway across the board. Again she looked around in vain for the culprit, so she proceeded with the day's lesson.
Every morning for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day's larger than the previous one.
Finally one day, she walked in expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board but instead found the words: 'The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.'



A man had been troubled by his inability to achieve an erection. After visiting numerous doctors and not getting any help he decided to consult a witch doctor.
The witch doctor threw some herbs in the fire,shook his rattle,and danced wildly. When he was through he said,'I have placed a powerful spell on you, but it will only work once a year. When you are ready just say...1,2,3, and you will get the largest erection that you have ever had.
After your wife has been satisfied she simply has to say, 1,2,3 and it will be gone for one year.'
Later that night as the man lay in bed he said to his wife,'Watch this! 1,2,3!' His organ sprang to life, larger and stiffer than ever before.
His wife was amazed, she smiled and said,'That's great! But what did you say 1,2,3, for?



At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, 'I know the whole truth'. The boy decides to go home and try it out.
He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, 'I know the whole truth.'
His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, 'Just don't tell your father.'
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, 'I know the whole truth.'
The father promptly hands him $40 and says, 'Please don't say a word to your mother.'
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, 'I know the whole truth.'
The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, 'Then come give your FATHER a big hug.