hree women are discussing their teenage daughters. The first declares: 'I was so shocked last week. I was tidying my daughter's room and I found a packet of cigarettes under her pillow. I didn't even know that she smoked!'
'It gets worse than that,' says the second mother. 'I was tidying my daughter's room last week and I found a bottle of vodka under her bed. I didn't even know that she drank!'
'Oh, it gets even worse than that,' says the third mother. 'I was tidying my daughter's room last week and you'll never guess what I found in her bedside cabinet: a packet of condoms!'
I didn't even know that she had a penis!


Santa and his wife, Jeeto were in the bathroom getting ready for work when Santa looked at Jeeto and said, 'I got to have you!'
Santa backed Jeeto up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties and ravaged her.
He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled more than she ever had before.
When he finished, he started putting his clothes back on and when he noticed that Jeeto is still writhing against the door.
He said, 'That was the best . You`ve never moved like that before, you didn`t hurt yourself did you?'
Jeeto replies, 'No, no. I`ll be OK once I can get the doorknob out of my ass.'


Once a sadhu went to a prostitute.
After doing his stuff he was leaving, when the prostitute asked, 'Baba Paise?'
To which he replies, 'Pagli tujhse thodi loonga!'


Once in a building on the first floor was a fireman, on the second floor was a lawyer, on the third floor was a blind man and on the fourth floor there was a beautiful woman. One day, the woman was stepping into the shower when the doorbell rang. She put her robe on and opened the door.It was the fireman. He said,'Congratulate me. I saved a cat from a burning fire.'
'Congrats' the woman said.
She took off her robe and was about to go in to the shower again when the doorbell rang again. She put her robe on and answered the door. It was the lawyer. 'Congratulate me. I just won a case!' He said.
'Congrats!' she says. She took off her robe again and was about to step into the shower again when the doorbell rang again. That can't be the fireman or the lawyer so it must be the blind man she thought. So she didn't put her robe on and opened the door. The blind man slowly grinned widely.
'Congratulate me!' he said, 'I can see!'


Ramu: 'Teacher, teacher! Is bus male or female?
Teacher: thinking...
Shyamu: 'Teacher, teacher! It is female'
Teacher & Ramu: 'Kyon?'
Shyamu: 'Kyon ki sab log uspe chadtehain.'
Teacher is pareshan. While Ramu gets doubt. Ramu: 'Agar bus female hai aur sab uspe chadte hai tho uske bacche kyon nahin hote?'
Teacher is more pareshan.
Shyamu: 'Kyon ki sab peeche se chadte hain.'
Teacher is now hiding her face. Ramu gets another doubt Ramu: 'Maana sabhi peeche se chadte hain, but driver aur conductor tho age se chadte hain. Phir bachche kyon nahin hote?'
Teacher is sweating as it is getting too much to handle. Syam replies: 'Kyon ki woh donon topi pehanke chadte hain.'
Teacher faints!!


A woman brings a man home one night. They get into her apartment and immediately she suggests that they do '69'.
'What is that?' asks the man. Realizing hes unexperienced, she tries to explain,'I put my head between your legs and you put your head between mine.'
Still not knowing what shes talking about, but not wanting to ruin the moment he agrees to try it. The second they get in to the position, she lets go a rip-roaring fart.
'What was that for?' he asks.
'Oooopppps! Sorry, lets try it again.' she says. So, they get into position again, and once more she lets one loose. The man gets up and starts to put his coat on. 'Wait, where are you going?' she asks.
The man says, ' If you think Im sticking around for 67 more of those, youre crazy !!!!



A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter Santa Singh, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
'Im sorry, sir, but I am blind and I cant read the menu. Just bring me a dirty spoon from a previous customer and Ill order from that.'
A little confused, Santa walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy spoon. He returns to the blind mans table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes a deep breath. 'Ah, yes, thats what Ill have, tandoori chicken and roti.'
Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. Jaspinder the cook happens to be the owners wife and he tells her what just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves. The owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him.
The blind man returns the next week and Santa sees him coming. He tells his wife, 'Jaspinder, rub this spoon on your panties before I take it to the blind man.' She complies and hands her husband the spoon back. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. 'Good afternoon, sir. This time I remembered you and I already have the spoon ready for you.'
The blind man puts the spoon to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, 'I didnt know Jaspinder worked here.'



A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife: 'Honey, I got a new secretary. And imagine what happened! She's got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite football team. Anyway, it's not a big deal but it feels good.'
The next day when they come home his wife asks, 'How was your day?'
The man says: 'Fantastic! It's not only her bra that is red and white but also her panties. You know it's not a big deal but it really feels good!'
The third day they meet at home after work and now the man asks his wife, 'And what happened today in your office,honey?'
She says, 'Oh, nothing special, sweetheart. I got a new boss today. His dick is two inches longer than yours. You know it's not a big deal but, hell, it feels good!'