A couple were having financial problems until finally they couldn't stand it any more. The husband said to his wife that is was necessary for her to make some money through prostitution to get by.
So the husband drove her to the place where she had to do the job and in the evening he picked her up again.
'So, how much have you earned today?' the husband asked.
'Well', the woman responded, 'I've made one thousand and one rupee.'
'That's strange', the husband responded, 'who gave you the one rupee?'
Said the woman: 'All of them, of course!'


Once four nuns die and reach the heaven gate. The nuns are ordered ' those of you who have experienced the pride of a man , wash your body part with which you have you experienced it.'
The first nun says' i have seen it. ', washes her eyes and moves ahead.
The second nun says 'i have touched it .', washes her hands and moves ahead.
Just then the fourth nun wispers to the third nun 'would you mind changing places so that i could gargle with that water before you dip your asshole in it....'


5 Kinds Of Sex
1) The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honey-moon, you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.
2) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage, you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen.
3) The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.
4) The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, 'Fuck you!'
5) The fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.


Jaspinder goes in to take a tennis lesson, and the instructor notices she is using the wrong grip.
After several failed attempts to correct her, he finally says 'OK, just grip it like you do your husband's member'.
After that, Jaspinder immediately rips a couple of top spin winners down the line.
The instructor says, 'Wow that's great. Now just try taking the racket out of your mouth.'


Two girls were sitting naked in the steam-room.
First girl says, 'How come, you have no hair on your pussy???'
Second girl replies, 'Have you ever seen grass growing on a busy road?'


A young man gets married. After the first night, his friends ask him, 'Hey, how was the night bhai? Somehow you look slightly worried.'
Replied our man 'Oh, everything went fine and I had a very nice time. But at the end, out of habit I gave her Rs.1000!'
'Forget it man, anyway she is your wife and money will be with you fellows only', consoled friends.
'Yeah, that is true. But what worried me is the fact that she immediately returned Rs.200!'


Once a sardar and his son go for a walk.
Suddenly the junior sees two dogs having sex and ask his dad 'Papaji what are they doing?
Sardar gets embarassed while answering his son's question and replies, 'Nothing son, the dog is sick and the bitch is trying to take him to the hospital!'
Then junior thinks for a while and says, 'Papaji kya zamana aa gaya hai, jo jiski madat karta hai woh usee ki gaand marta hai!'



A Man used to carry a copy of Hanuman Chalisa and a packet of Condom.
Once he was questioned by his friends about the things he carried.
He replied that 'Bhoot aur choot ka koi bharosi nahi . Kabhi bhi mil jate hain'.


Banta has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and finally she agrees to go out with him.
He takes her to a nice restaurant, buys her a fancy dinner with expensive wine and on the way home he pulls over to the side of the road in a secluded spot.
They start necking and Banta is getting pretty excited. Banta starts to reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she`s a virgin and wants to stay that way.
'Well, OK,' he says, 'how a bout a blow job?'
'EEyeew!' she screams. 'I`m not putting that thing in my mouth!'
Banta says, 'Well then, how about a hand job?'
'I`ve never done that,' she says. 'What do I have to do?'
'Well,' he answers with a smile, 'Remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your friend with it?'
She nods.
'Well, it`s just like that.'
So Banta pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it. A few seconds later, his head flops back on the headrest, his eyes close, snot starts to run out of his nose, wax blows out of his ears and he screams out in pain.
'What`s wrong?!' she cries out.
'TAKE YOUR THUMB OFF OF THE END!!!'